The Ever-Changing Standards of Beauty

Where has the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” gone? When did the “beholder” become the beauty and fashion industry? And, more recently, the diet and wellness industry. 

The time frame is probably for as long as those industries have existed. It’s an industry that feeds off our insecurities and fears knowing very well that if we accept ourselves as we are it will lose A LOT of money. 

Let’s go back a few hundred years… 

Have you heard of the ancient Chinese foot-binding custom? Smaller feet on women were considered more beautiful. So they would break and tightly bind the feet of young girls in order to change their shape and size. It was a painful practice that limited the mobility of women and resulted in lifelong disabilities. It has been estimated that, by the 19th century, 40–50% of all Chinese women may have had bound feet. It was not until the early 20th century that the practice began to die out, following the efforts of anti-footbinding campaigns. 

This terrible and painful custom sounds barbaric and probably nothing you would witness in today’s modern world, right? 

But why is it different than plastic surgery to change one’s face or body? Why is it worse than having bariatric surgery or going on extreme diets to lose weight? I do agree it is more barbaric but the main premise remains the same. It’s changing the way one looks in order to conform to an unrealistic beauty ideal. 

We have been conditioned to see a certain face, body size, or body shape, as more beautiful. There was a time not so long ago when lighter skin was considered more beautiful than darker skin. Thankfully this has now changed significantly. Our grandmothers used to see straight hair as more attractive than curly hair….now most people think the opposite! 

What’s worse is these unrealistic beauty standards keep changing! It changes from skinny, to fuller figure, to skinny again, to curvy with an impossibly small waist etc. It’s changing because those that benefit want you to keep spending money. If you’re a brunette you should be more blonde, if you have thick eyebrows they need to be thinner, if you’re old you must look younger, if you’ve had several babies you need a mommy makeover that costs thousands and thousands of dollars! 

Who’s to say what is okay and what is too much? Is the fact that I put light makeup on and dye my hair mean I’ve been duped by the beauty industry? Or is it subjective? 

Here’s how I see it… 

If looking a certain way helps you feel more confident and happy without it straining your bank account then go for it. 

If paying money for botox and fillers, spending an hour putting on make-up every morning, and regularly touching up your blonde roots every month is not stressing you out or keeping you from living a more fulfilled and meaningful life, then you do you! 

If you think minimal makeup and coloring one’s hair is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, then I salute you! 

My issue is that getting those continuous beauty treatments, going on endless diets, and paying for gym memberships you never use, give you a temporary boost in happiness, but don’t do anything to help your self-confidence, self-acceptance or self-esteem. In reality, it just makes it worse as you are continuously looking to the outside to feel better about yourself. 

I know many of you say “I’m doing it for myself” To that, I will tell you to use the time, energy, and money to work on accepting and loving yourself as you are! Think of yourself in your old age looking back at you now – what will she say? What will she advise you? 

Happiness is an inside job. And the more you focus and take care of what’s on the inside, the less attention you will pay to the outside. 

If you feel you are ready to start accepting and loving yourself as you are, to stop the dieting cycle, and start to enjoy food freedom, get in touch to find out how I can help you.